Criticism is a relationship killer. But, the good news is that it is a behavior and behavior can change.It is not just a complaint, it is an attack on the personality of your spouse. And believe me, anyone who is criticized, becomes defensive. Defence in a relationship, on the other hand, is damaging to the relationship. If you’ve been in the habit of criticizing and using “You” statements,  here’s a little chart that might help you enter into your arguments a little bit more softly.


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Blaming                                                                                   Complaining                                                      you are the cause of the problem                   I feel bad that we forgot the cylinder

‘You’ statements                                                                    ‘I’ statements                                               you don’t care about my emotions anymore            I feel emotionally neglected, could you                                                                                                    please make out a little more time for me?

Aggressive                                                                                Polite                                                                what is your problem                                              I would love to hear what’s on your mind

Entitled                                                                                     Appreciative                                               Why don’t you ever assist me                                I’d love to finish early today, could you                                                                                                     please assist me?

Encouragement has proven to be the best agent of change.

We strive to be better partners, a word, shove, acknowledgement or appreciation goes a long way in uncovering the genius in a person. It is achievable, give it a try and don’t forget to share your experiences.



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